Resilience

Read­abil­ity

Resilience

 

 

FROM:  Dictionary.com

1. The power or abil­ity to return to the orig­i­nal form, posi­tion, etc., after being bent, com­pressed, or stretched; elasticity.

2. The abil­ity to recover read­ily from ill­ness, depres­sion, adver­sity, or the like; buoyancy.

 

LESSONS LEARNED

Feel the feel­ings as they happen

Think about what you need and ask for it

Let go of self-judgment and know that it REALLY IS HARD

Let go of resent­ments and find accep­tance of the past

Learn all you can about what you’re deal­ing with

If you screw up, apol­o­gize and try not to do it again

Live in the present moment

 

 

 

Resilience relates to inter­nal strength and flex­i­bil­ity; know­ing your­self, what you feel, what you need; hav­ing the abil­ity to let go and move on.

 

If I were to rank the four Rs that I depend upon, I would say resilience is the most vital. With­out resilience, we are the tall, straight tree whose top snaps off when loaded down with ice. There is no “bounce-back.” We need to be more like the wil­low, which has enor­mous abil­ity to flex and bend.

 

I believe we develop resilience by under­stand­ing our­selves and strength­en­ing our inner resources. Fac­ing hard truths is fun­da­men­tal to self-awareness. Bar­ri­ers to per­sonal growth are like the flot­sam and jet­sam in a small river that block the easy flow of the cur­rent. One downed tree, filled with branches and twigs, can really stop up a stream. Lots more branch­lets, leaves and debris get caught up in the tree and the cur­rent has to fight to find a path. To get the water flow­ing eas­ily again, mov­ing or remov­ing that tree is essen­tial. Nam­ing the bar­ri­ers is the first step to remov­ing them.

 

 

BARRIERS TO GROWTH

  • DENIAL
    • o   One of the biggest blocks to wis­dom is denial. The sim­plest descrip­tions of denial are “to declare that some­thing is not true” and “to refuse to acknowl­edge.” Refus­ing to acknowl­edge that there is some­thing we could do dif­fer­ently is where it shows up in our per­sonal lives most fre­quently. Most of us would like it bet­ter to have some­one else change some­thing, than for us to change.
  • DEFENSIVENESS
    •    Putting up a defen­sive wall to avoid see­ing the real­ity of our short­com­ings gets us nowhere. The early morn­ing light of aware­ness, shin­ing through the crack in the cur­tains of our self-protection is the begin­ning of wis­dom. Clos­ing the cur­tain keeps us in dark­ness and we fail to see the dawn’s love­li­ness or fully wake up. Some­times the aware­ness comes when we get a reac­tion to our behaviors—someone gets upset with us and a glim­mer shines through that gets our attention—“Whoa, what did I do? Did I mean it? Do I regret it? What is up with me?” Defen­sive­ness might mean that we quickly tell our­selves that it wasn’t our fault, but the other guy’s. It might mean we ignore the feel­ings of guilt and plow on through, feel­ing jus­ti­fied and self-righteous; that “I have a right to act this way because they were wrong,” or some such rationalization.
  • SELF-PITY
  • EMOTIONAL NUMBING

 

THINKING TRAPS/FAULTY BELIEFS

  • PERSONALIZATION
  • BLAME/RESENTMENT

NON-ASSERTIVENESS

  • PASSIVITY
  • AGGRESSION
  • PASSIVE-AGGRESSION

CORE ISSUES

  • SHAME
  • FEAR
  • RAGE

SKILLS TO ENHANCE RESILIENCE

  • Assertive­ness and Boundary-Setting
  • Tak­ing appro­pri­ate responsibility
  • Emo­tional intelligence
  • Com­mu­ni­ca­tion
  • Chal­leng­ing faulty thinking
  • Relax­ation, self-soothing, meditation

 

 

 

FROM:  Dictionary.com

1. The power or abil­ity to return to the orig­i­nal form, posi­tion, etc., after being bent, com­pressed, or stretched; elasticity.

2. The abil­ity to recover read­ily from ill­ness, depres­sion, adver­sity, or the like; buoyancy.

 

LESSONS LEARNED

Feel the feel­ings as they happen

Think about what you need and ask for it

Let go of self-judgment and know that it REALLY IS HARD

Let go of resent­ments and find accep­tance of the past

Learn all you can about what you’re deal­ing with

If you screw up, apol­o­gize and try not to do it again

Live in the present moment

 

 

 

Resilience relates to inter­nal strength and flex­i­bil­ity; know­ing your­self, what you feel, what you need; hav­ing the abil­ity to let go and move on.

 

If I were to rank the four Rs that I depend upon, I would say resilience is the most vital. With­out resilience, we are the tall, straight tree whose top snaps off when loaded down with ice. There is no “bounce-back.” We need to be more like the wil­low, which has enor­mous abil­ity to flex and bend.

 

I believe we develop resilience by under­stand­ing our­selves and strength­en­ing our inner resources. Fac­ing hard truths is fun­da­men­tal to self-awareness. Bar­ri­ers to per­sonal growth are like the flot­sam and jet­sam in a small river that block the easy flow of the cur­rent. One downed tree, filled with branches and twigs, can really stop up a stream. Lots more branch­lets, leaves and debris get caught up in the tree and the cur­rent has to fight to find a path. To get the water flow­ing eas­ily again, mov­ing or remov­ing that tree is essen­tial. Nam­ing the bar­ri­ers is the first step to remov­ing them.

 

 

BARRIERS TO GROWTH

  • DENIAL
    • o   One of the biggest blocks to wis­dom is denial. The sim­plest descrip­tions of denial are “to declare that some­thing is not true” and “to refuse to acknowl­edge.” Refus­ing to acknowl­edge that there is some­thing we could do dif­fer­ently is where it shows up in our per­sonal lives most fre­quently. Most of us would like it bet­ter to have some­one else change some­thing, than for us to change.
  • DEFENSIVENESS
    •    Putting up a defen­sive wall to avoid see­ing the real­ity of our short­com­ings gets us nowhere. The early morn­ing light of aware­ness, shin­ing through the crack in the cur­tains of our self-protection is the begin­ning of wis­dom. Clos­ing the cur­tain keeps us in dark­ness and we fail to see the dawn’s love­li­ness or fully wake up. Some­times the aware­ness comes when we get a reac­tion to our behaviors—someone gets upset with us and a glim­mer shines through that gets our attention—“Whoa, what did I do? Did I mean it? Do I regret it? What is up with me?” Defen­sive­ness might mean that we quickly tell our­selves that it wasn’t our fault, but the other guy’s. It might mean we ignore the feel­ings of guilt and plow on through, feel­ing jus­ti­fied and self-righteous; that “I have a right to act this way because they were wrong,” or some such rationalization.
  • SELF-PITY
  • EMOTIONAL NUMBING

 

THINKING TRAPS/FAULTY BELIEFS

  • PERSONALIZATION
  • BLAME/RESENTMENT

NON-ASSERTIVENESS

  • PASSIVITY
  • AGGRESSION
  • PASSIVE-AGGRESSION

CORE ISSUES

  • SHAME
  • FEAR
  • RAGE

SKILLS TO ENHANCE RESILIENCE

  • Assertive­ness and Boundary-Setting
  • Tak­ing appro­pri­ate responsibility
  • Emo­tional intelligence
  • Com­mu­ni­ca­tion
  • Chal­leng­ing faulty thinking
  • Relax­ation, self-soothing, meditation