Can Change This

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The Journey of Transformation

Archive for the ‘Resilience’ Category

Roll with it

Tuesday, August 20th, 2013

This is the time of year that everyone (especially in northern climes like Minnesota, I think) starts to pack in a lot of summertime activities, knowing that fall is about to descend. And, it is prep time for students and teachers returning to school. I am one of those again; this time I’m teaching a class in the Social Work graduate program at SCSU; providing instruction in the fundamental skills needed to be a social worker.

I am eager to dig into this class and learn the process of teaching the theory and skills of my profession. Interestingly, the textbook to be used is the same one I had when I started my MSW program at Louisiana State University in 1987. That was Edition 2, and now I will use Edition 9. Wow! Has it really been that long? I love the synchronicity of this and can see that it is THE book, and has evolved appropriately to be current and cutting edge.

Social Work, classroom, students, university, class, learning

Classroom and students

I feel that I have evolved in a similar way–changing and adapting to stay up-to-date and fresh through the years of honing my craft and helping others who are in the beginning stages of their careers.

This is another aspect of resilience, I think; adapting and growing through challenges, upheavals, changes. Becoming stronger and remaining fit to perform necessary tasks and fulfill new roles.

It can be a very humbling process. Many times through the years I have seen a “new” technique or approach introduced and embraced, and realize I knew something very similar to that YEARS ago, and had not really incorporated it. I often have a sense of “I knew that once! Why haven’t I been doing it?” or “Damn, I could have written that book!” It is disconcerting but I have come to realize it is an outcome of living a lot of years and being in a career for 30+ years. I also know that I can’t do it all, nor does it make what I have done less valid.

That’s where “roll with it” comes in. Here’s a definition:

“to adjust to difficult events as they happen–roll with it.”

Etymology: based on boxing, from the literal meaning roll with the punches (step back or to one side as you are being hit), so that you do not receive the full force of the attack.
Cambridge Dictionary of American Idioms Copyright © Cambridge University Press 2003. Reproduced with permission.

We need to adjust, be flexible, accomodate and sometimes, in order not to get knocked down, we need to take the punch and move with it.

roll with it, punch, resilience, bounce back, adapt, flexibility

The ability to bend and be tough are essential skills in this world. Seeing our imperfections, errors, shortcomings, and misses is part of rolling with it. Understanding our fallibility but not letting it undermine our self-confidence and sense of purpose can be difficult, but when we do it we can successfully move forward and attain more wisdom. Owning those truths about ourselves improves our resilience and enhances our ability to accept things, people, events, that we cannot change, and helps us gain tolerance of others, as well.

Resilience, bend or break, tree

 

More transitions; so what’s new!

Saturday, September 1st, 2012

So, I am in the middle of more transitions. Does it ever stop? No, we just get to cruise sometimes. I am not in cruise control right now, but in the midst of some heavy traffic, construction, detours. I need to be on my toes.

My love relationship ended earlier this summer, due to core differences in our values and worldviews, and an erosion of good feelings between us.  It has not been easy, but my busyness has certainly helped to distract me from the loss.

I have had lots of company, fun weekend activities, a heavy workload and the process of my father moving from assisted living to nursing home. It has been hectic, challenging, rewarding, fun and draining.

Last weekend I spent 4 days with my team, Sand Shells, as crew at the Susan G. Komen 3-Day for the Cure in the Twin Cities. It was, as always, moving, inspiring, exhausting and exhilarating. My ankles are still swollen and bruised, and I wasn’t even trying to walk the 60 miles! I helped to set up and run Pit Stop 3 with my team. We handed out food, water, Nuun (our sponsor’s sports drink) and encouragement. We used the theme, “Wild, Wild Breasts!” If you haven’t been around the 3-Day, it is quite focused on breasts and having fun, so plays on words and irreverent themes rule the day. We had western outfits and props (even a photo op with a pony!) and got a lot of smiles out of the walkers. The spirit and energy of my teammates was amazing to watch.

The Closing Ceremonies, where I was allowed to wear a pink shirt and walk with the survivors, created feelings that are beyond words. The inclusion and validation we survivors experience fills my heart up to the brim, and reminds me how precious it is to have come through breast cancer. There was a moment during the Walk that I was encouraging walkers with water and thanks, and suddenly one of them said, “No, thank you, Survivor. Walking three days is nothing compared to chemo.” She had seen my “Survivor” button. It was so unexpected and so powerful that I melted into tears. It made all the sweat, exhaustion and body aches worth every minute.

3-day, breast cancer, walk

3-Day Walkers

Earlier I had visitors from Sweden and spent a week with them. It is a special thing to show them around the area to which the Emigrants came and have them get to know their American family better. I spent a weekend with one of my best friends, her siblings and cousins and had a ball. The laughter and cameraderie were delightful.

I have had a full schedule at work, because of taking time off here and there, and filling up the remaining spaces with clients. Always feeling behind and overwhelmed by paperwork, but managing to keep my head above water and give clients what they need from me. At times I have heard positive feedback and have been moved to tears by the growth, insight and relief they express, as well as their gratitude.

Finally, I have just started a new endeavor of teaching a foundational social work class at a local college, St. Cloud State University. My first class met this week and I did well, I think. Thanks to a great curriculum I inherited from others, and help from several professors there, I got through it and feel optimistic and enthusiastic to continue it. It does challenge me, though, and I see that I am a student this fall too, as well as those in my class!

SCSU, St. Cloud State University, Social Work

SCSU

Along the Way Workshop, March 31, 2012

Sunday, April 15th, 2012

Along the Way: Transformation through difficult times…

Relationship, Resilience, Respite, Renewal (the 4 Rs)

March 31, 2012

Unity Spiritual Center

Sartell, MN

Susan Holmen, LICSW, ICADC

 

Using music, meditation, journaling and sharing, Susan explored the journey of transformation. The group looked at the 4 Rs and discussed their personal experiences and challenges.

 

 

 

“The workshop provided a nice balance of quiet introspection and interaction with others. The insights Susan shared awakened several ‘aha!’ moments of consciousness in me. It’s an experience that could be repeated over and over and would likely uncover something new each time.”  Sara M.

 

 

Soul Retrieval

Saturday, November 5th, 2011
Story-telling, group, fire, unity

Story-telling around a fire

Shamanic societies, building on age-old wisdom, believe that the world and its challenges can drain our energy. The experiences of discouragement, pain, loss, disappointment, loss of meaning and feeling stuck all drain us. The shamans taught that if we “stop singing, stop dancing, are no longer enchanted by stories, or become uncomfortable with silence, we experience soul loss, which opens the door to discomfort and disease (Arrien).”

 

In  The Four-Fold Way, Angeles Arrien describes the shamans’ remedy for soul loss:

The Four Universal Healing Salves:

storytelling, singing, dancing and silence

Becoming open, again, to the Healing Salves can bring about “soul retrieval” and we can reconnect to joy, optimism, hope, acceptance, motivation and love. Arrien also says the goal of managing a difficult time is acceptance, not resignation; detachment, not holding on; to be “open to outcome, not attached to outcome.”

 

Whenever there is CHANGE there is LOSS; whenever there is loss we GRIEVE. Therefore, whenever there is change, we grieve. Ritual is a human tradition that helps deal with loss, grief and change. The losses may be related to losing a person we love, losing a life style, health, financial security, safety, faith or meaning.

 

Arrien says,

“Ritual is the conscious act of recognizing a life change, and doing something to honor and support the change through the presence of such elements as witnesses, gift giving, ceremony, and sacred intention. In this way human beings support the changes they are experiencing and create a way ‘to fit things together again.’”

 

 Singing, storytelling, silence and dancing help us cope with grief and are part of the ritual of soul retrieval.

 

Silence, meditation

Meditation and silence

We’re in it Together

Friday, October 14th, 2011

boat, people, common ground, all in the same boat

I have always said that the people with which I work are “normal people who have encountered bumps in the road of life,” or some such analogy. I also have a child’s drawing that shows a family fishing in a boat (Sloop John B as a matter of fact) and I have it framed as a representation that “we’re all in the same boat.” The meaning behind that for me is that my journey and that of my clients’ is the same—we take different paths at times, are at different places on the paths, yet the experience of journeying through the challenges of life is known to every one of us. Psychotherapists and other counselors are merely helpers who know a bit and understand more of the journey and the process, and thus, can help others move along the path more effectively. The key is for the helper to manage her own troubles successfully, in order not to get tripped up by them.

 

Similarly, physicians and nurses get ill at times, and need care, and only if they choose not to get help or to deny their medical needs does the illness get in the way of helping their patients. Attending to oneself is essential for any helper to continue to be effective. Finding my way through the briars, pitfalls and thunderstorms of life, and continuing to use the knowledge gained to help others on the journey inspired this website and blog. I hope it will be helpful.