Can Change This

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The Journey of Transformation

Welcome to Can Change This

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Welcome to Can Change This

“When we are no longer able to change a situation…we are chal­lenged to change our­selves.” Vik­tor Frankl

Resilient Tree

A wise men­tor of mine, Sis­ter Mary Mar­garet Camalo, told me that as we grow older the chal­lenge is to inte­grate all the expe­ri­ences of our lives and find accep­tance and make peace with them. In doing so, we gain integrity. Our lives will be enriched and we become more evolved as humans. We learn to tran­scend the dif­fi­cul­ties, ris­ing above them. If we strug­gle against accep­tance and inte­gra­tion of the hurt, loss, regret, heart­break and resent­ment, we become bit­ter. It is vital trans­for­ma­tive work.

I am a recov­er­ing alco­holic and gained sobri­ety at age 24. Through that dif­fi­cult dis­ease and sub­se­quent recov­ery I learned a great deal and expe­ri­enced trans­for­ma­tion and new life. I learned that we all have the abil­ity to make change when needed, if we choose to do so. At age 50 I came face to face again with the chal­lenge to trans­form in a time of per­sonal trials.

In an 8-​month period, I left a job, ended a mar­riage, moved, became care­giver to my dying mother, was treated for breast can­cer and started a new career path.

Those tri­als chal­lenged me to expe­ri­ence the need to let go of con­trol, have faith and trust, ask for sup­port, live in the moment, and use all the resources avail­able, out­side of me AND inside myself. That time of shock, anguish, bewil­der­ment and loss brought an oppor­tu­nity for transformation.

Thir­teen years later, in 2017, I received a sec­ond diag­no­sis of breast can­cer. Despite the dev­as­tat­ing news and chal­leng­ing treat­ment process, I have been able to make it an oppor­tu­nity for growth, spir­i­tual devel­op­ment and deep­en­ing rela­tion­ships. The skills I have learned from all of the pre­vi­ous chal­lenges pro­vided a solid base from which to rebuild and move into a promis­ing future.

Learn­ing the fun­da­men­tal truth that the only thing we truly have power to change is our­selves can be trans­for­ma­tive in itself. In the face of all the events and sur­prises over which we have no con­trol, learn­ing to do what we can is essential.

I have devel­oped a frame­work to pass on the prin­ci­ples I learned that allowed me to grow stronger rather than grow bit­ter. There are four essen­tial build­ing blocks which are: The 4 Rs: Rela­tion­ship, Resilience, Respite and Renewal. These tools can help you tran­scend the dif­fi­cul­ties, trans­form the expe­ri­ence of pain and change it into one of growth and enrichment.

This site is intended to be a resource for per­sons going through tran­si­tions, or want­ing more from your life. It may be that you are:

  • a care­giver to a loved one
  • expe­ri­enc­ing burnout
  • cop­ing with addiction
  • chang­ing careers
  • strug­gling in a relationship
  • new in town
  • end­ing a marriage
  • afraid for a fam­ily mem­ber who is mak­ing poor choices
  • expe­ri­enc­ing health prob­lems or just heard a fright­en­ing diagnosis
  • search­ing for more out of your life
  • want­ing to develop your spir­i­tual connections
  • developmental/​life stage changes and challenges
  • like all humans, grop­ing your way through life

Using my own expe­ri­ences in com­bi­na­tion with my pro­fes­sional knowl­edge and skills as a sea­soned psy­chother­a­pist and trainer, this site will offer infor­ma­tion, links, insights and inspi­ra­tion. Welcome!

“If there is mean­ing in life at all, then there must be mean­ing in suf­fer­ing.” Vik­tor Frankl

“When we are no longer able to change a situation…we are challenged to change ourselves.” Viktor Frankl

 

Resilient Tree

 

A wise mentor of mine, Sister Mary Margaret Camalo, told me that as we grow older the challenge is to integrate all the experiences of our lives and find acceptance and make peace with them. In doing so, we gain integrity. Our lives will be enriched and we become more evolved as humans. We learn to transcend the difficulties, rising above them. If we struggle against acceptance and integration of the hurt, loss, regret, heartbreak and resentment, we become bitter. It is vital transformative work.

I am a recovering alcoholic and gained sobriety at age 24. Through that difficult disease and subsequent recovery I learned a great deal and experienced transformation and new life. I learned that we all have the ability to make change when needed, if we choose to do so. At age 50 I came face to face again with the challenge to transform in a time of personal trials.

In an 8-month period, I left a job, ended a marriage, moved, became caregiver to my dying mother, was treated for breast cancer and started a new career path.

Those trials challenged me to experience the need to let go of control, have faith and trust, ask for support, live in the moment, and use all the resources available, outside of me AND inside myself. That time of shock, anguish, bewilderment and loss brought an opportunity for transformation.

Thirteen years later, in 2017, I received a second diagnosis of breast cancer. Despite the devastating news and challenging treatment process, I have been able to make it an opportunity for growth, spiritual development and deepening relationships. The skills I have learned from all of the previous challenges provided a solid base from which to rebuild and move into a promising future.

Learning the fundamental truth that the only thing we truly have power to change is ourselves can be transformative in itself. In the face of all the events and surprises over which we have no control, learning to do what we can is essential.

I have developed a framework to pass on the principles I learned that allowed me to grow stronger rather than grow bitter. There are four essential building blocks which are: The 4 RsRelationship, Resilience, Respite and Renewal. These tools can help you transcend the difficulties, transform the experience of pain and change it into one of growth and enrichment.

This site is intended to be a resource for persons going through transitions, or wanting more from your life. It may be that you are:

  • a caregiver to a loved one
  • experiencing burnout
  • coping with addiction
  • changing careers
  • struggling in a relationship
  • new in town
  • ending a marriage
  • afraid for a family member who is making poor choices
  • experiencing health problems or just heard a frightening diagnosis
  • searching for more out of your life
  • wanting to develop your spiritual connections
  • developmental/life stage changes and challenges
  • like all humans, groping your way through life

 

Using my own experiences in combination with my professional knowledge and skills as a seasoned psychotherapist and trainer, this site will offer information, links, insights and inspiration. Welcome!

 

 

“If there is meaning in life at all, then there must be meaning in suffering.” Viktor Frankl

 

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